


The Love Story of Dean and Cas

by DeansLady



Series: Song Fics [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Emotionally Hurt Dean, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansLady/pseuds/DeansLady
Summary: This started out just a one-time thing, but grew into a series of one-shots based on songs about Dean and Cas. They will cover different aspects of their relationship and times together. They are each standalone one-shots. They are not necessarily part of a whole. Each one will have its own summary and may contain extra warnings. I hope you enjoy my good and evil muses writings.





	1. Home after a Long Day

**Author's Note:**

> There are three songs my muses (both my good muse and my evil muse co-wrote this) decided to use for this fic. 
> 
> The second song is different in each story. I decided to post both fics and let the reader decide which they liked more. Each will create the songs used at the beginning. 
> 
>  
> 
> First one contains Home by the Goo Goo Dolls and Long Day by Matchbox Twenty.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fanfic born out of the aftermath of Season 12 Episode 03 – The Foundry. If you haven’t seen that episode yet, then beware of spoilers.
> 
> Dean is devastated by another parent leaving him. His reaction to it is at first normal, he turns to anger and drinking.
> 
> But, then, he does something unexpected...

Silence. There was nothing but silence in the wake of the steel door closing. Sam stood frozen unable to think clearly. He watched as Dean turned away and strode over to the cabinet in which they kept the whiskey. He watched as he poured a glass and then brought it back to hand it to him.

Dean saluted Sam with the bottle. “To us, Sammy.” He drank deeply from the bottle before he whipped it across the room. He sank into a chair and just stared at the wall.

“Dean—”

“Don’t Sam, just don’t,” Dean said, his voice cracking with emotion.

Sam set the glass down in front of his brother and went to the kitchen to grab a couple beers. He came back into the room and saw Dean hadn’t even touched the whiskey. Sam could see tears in Dean’s eyes, though he was doing his best not to let them fall.

Without comment, Sam set a bottle down in front of him and sat in the chair next to him. He wanted to be there for him, but his own emotions were all over the place right now.

“I guess I expected too much,” Dean said. “I mean, why would she stick around? She hated being a hunter and she didn’t want this for us. To find out this is our life, that we live this life without question…” A single tear slipped and rolled down his cheek.

“Dean, I don’t think it has anything to do with that, with us being hunters,” Sam said.

“No, then tell me Sam, if not that, then what? Because I sure as shit ain’t buying her crap about _needing time_ to adjust away from us. How in the hell is she supposed to accept who we are now, if she isn’t here with us?”

“Dean, do you realize, technically, I am four years older than Mom?” Sam waited a minute for what he said to sink in. “She was twenty-nine when she died, I am thirty-three now. She died and we kept on living. Dad raised us to be the one thing she didn’t want us to be…hunters.”

“Sam, you’re not seeing it, she is just like him. She is just like Dad.” Dean shook his head and rubbed his fingers across his eyes. “I thought…I thought finally, finally we would actually have a parent, you know. Something good in our lives. Sammy, why can’t we just have one good thing in our lives?” A couple unshed tears rolled unchecked down his face.

Sam couldn’t answer. His brother’s pain broke him. Tears of his own began and he turned his face away. He heard the breaking glass and Dean’s curse. He closed his eyes and prayed for strength. He heard the scrap of chair legs as Dean stood and opened his eyes to look at his brother.

“Where—”

“Out,” Dean said as he walked away.

*****

 _Crowded rooms full of empty faces_  
_Our deepest conversation full of lies_  
_Another night with all my friends_  
_The kind you'll never see again_  
_I wonder if they'll see through my disguise_  
_And I want to say_  
_That I can't hold back_  
_And it might be wrong_  
_But it's all I have_  

“Hey, Donnie, how ‘bout another?” Dean held his empty glass to the bartender. He knew he couldn’t have many more if he wanted to be in any shape to drive back to the Bunker. He looked down at his phone as it rang again. Seeing it was Sam, he hit the ignore button. He knew Sam would be worried, but at the moment, he didn’t care. He didn’t want to talk about it, not with him, he just wanted to drink.

 _Come take me home tonight_  
_Come take me home_  
_Oh I need you now_  
_I'm lost without you_  
_A million miles but I will find you_  
_So take me home_  
  
_It's 3 A.M. and I can't sleep without you_  
_I think I've found the perfect words to say_  
_The shattered light transmits my voice_  
_Sometimes we don't have a choice_  
_I'd wake you up from half a world away_  
  
_And I tried so hard_  
_Tried to be so strong_  
_But you see the crash_  
_My defense is gone_    
 

‘But, I don’t want to be alone. Dammit, Cas, where are you?’ Dean thought. ‘Why are you never around when I need you most?’

“Last call, ladies and gents,” Donnie called to the bar. He walked over to Dean. “Another one?” he asked.

“Yeah, make it a double,” Dean said. ‘Cas, come on, man,’ he called silently.

_Come take me home_  
_The shattered light transmits my voice_  
_Sometimes we don't have a choice_  
_Come take me home_  
_Wake you up from half a world away_  
_Oh I need you now_  
_I'm lost without you_  
_I'm holding on till I can find you_  
_So take me home_

 

“Dean,” Cas said to him as he placed a hand on his shoulder, “what has happened?”

_It's sitting by the overcoat_  
_The second shelf, the note she wrote_  
_That I can't bring myself to throw away_  
_And also_  
_Reach she said for no one else but you_  
_'Cause you won't turn away_  
_When someone else is gone_

 

“It’s about damn time you showed up,” Dean said. “Where the hell have you been? Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“No, you don’t care to know, there is a difference,” Cas said.

_I'm sorry 'bout the attitude_  
_I need to give when I'm with you_  
_But no one else would take this shit from me_  
_And I'm so_  
_Terrified of no one else but me_  
_I'm here all the time_  
_I won't go away_

“Look, I’ve had just about enough crap for one night, okay. I don’t need yours too,” Dean said, his anger clear in his voice. He stood and downed the glass of whiskey Donnie had just placed in front of him. As he turned to walk away, he staggered slightly causing Cas to grab his arm. Dean shrugged him off. “I can walk on my own.”

“Yeah, it looks like it,” Cas said. He followed him outside. “Dean, I don’t think you should be driving in your condition.”

Dean stood and looked at Cas. He lowered his head and handed him the keys. “Fine, you drive.”

_It's me, yeah well I can't get myself to go away_  
_Hey it's me, and I can't get myself to go away_  
_Oh God, I shouldn't feel this way now_

 

Shock showed on Cas’ face. He never expected Dean to hand him the keys. Now he knew there was something wrong, seriously wrong. He waited until they were in the car before broaching the subject again. “Dean, what’s going on?”

“She’s gone. Left. Just walked out,” Dean said.

“Wait, who’s gone? Mary? Why?”

“She spouted some crap about needing time to come to terms with us being grown and shit,” Dean said. “Yeah, I should’ve known better. I should’ve known I couldn’t have one good thing in my life.”

“Dean—”

“Don’t, Cas. Not tonight, I just…not tonight, okay. Just…just…hell.” Dean turned his face so he was looking out the window.

When they got back to the Bunker, Sam was waiting. Dean went straight to his room without saying a word to him.

“Cas?”

“Sam, he is in bad shape. What exactly happened here tonight?”

Cas listened as Sam explained everything Mary had said to them and Dean’s reaction. “I think he needs time to adjust, but I will try to talk to him,” Cas said. “Don’t worry, Sam. I’ll take care of him tonight.”

Cas went to Dean’s room and knocked softly on the door. Although no answer came from within, Cas opened the door. Silhouetted in the dim light, stood Dean in his boxers. Cas was at a loss for words and turned to go.

“Stay,” Dean said. His voice was barely over a whisper. He turned to face Cas as the door clicked shut. “Lock it,” he added.

_Reach down your hand in your pocket_  
_Pull out some hope for me_  
_It's been a long day, always ain't that right_  
_And no lord, your hand won't stop it_  
_Just keep you trembling_  
_It's been a long day, always ain't that right_

_Well I'm surprised if you'd believe_  
_In_ anything _that comes from me_  
_I didn't hear from you or from someone else_  
_And you're so set in life man, a pisser they're waiting_  
_Too damn bad you get so far so fast_  
_So what, so long_

_  
_

“Come over here,” Dean softly said. When Cas stood in front of him, he reached out and slid his coat off him. “You don’t need that in here,” he said as he tossed the coat onto a chair.

“Dean,” Cas began only to be cut off by Dean’s raised eyebrows.

“Yes, Cas?”

“Dean, I am here if you need to talk.”

“Cas, I’m not really in the mood to _talk_.” Dean said. “But it is your choice. Stay or go, just decide right now.”

At Cas’ confused look, Dean laughed. “There are some things the pizza man didn’t teach you, but I can.”

It took only a moment and a simple glance down for Cas to understand Dean. “Dean, you are hurting right now. I understand that,” Cas said.

“Oh, I’m hurting, all right.” Dean laughed at his joke as he glanced down. “Cas, come on, you know as well as I do, this has been building for a long time. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, too.” Dean waited a moment before lifting his hands to Cas’ shirt and began unbuttoning it. “I’m tired, man. I…I don’t want to think, I don’t want to talk, I just want.”

_Reach down your hand in your pocket_  
_Pull out some hope for me_  
_It's been a long day, always ain't that right_  
_And no lord, your hand won't stop it_  
_Just keep you trembling_  
_It's been a long day, always ain't that right_

_Oh, ain't that right_

 

Cas sighed. Dean was right, he had wanted this forever. He would never admit to it or have acted on it. Dean was his best friend and he would never do anything to risk that friendship. However, Dean needed him now. And he could never deny Dean anything.

Cas reached up and ran his fingers down the side of Dean’s face. “I do not want to bring you more pain, Dean. I fear this will.”

“You won’t hurt me,” Dean said. “Don’t you see, Cas? It has always been you. You always come back to me, no matter what, somehow, some way, you are always there.” Dean slid Cas’ shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. He tossed it aside.

_It's me, yeah well I can't myself to go away_  
_Hey, well it's me, yeah well I can't get myself to go away_  
_Oh God I shouldn't feel this way, now_

_Reach down your hand in your pocket_  
_Pull out some hope for me_  
_It's been a long day, always ain't that right_  
_And no lord, your hand won't stop it_

_Just keep you trembling  
It's been a long day, always ain't that right_

 

“Cas, I need you. Right or wrong, after everything, when things get bad, it is always you I turn to, you that I call.” Dean reached down and began to undo Cas’ pants. “Last chance.” Dean could feel the shudder that went through Cas’ body.

“It may be easier if I removed my shoes first,” Cas said logically as he sat on the bed.

Dean smiled. “Always the practical one.”


	2. Home to a Bed of Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fanfic born out of the aftermath of Season 12 Episode 03 – The Foundry. If you haven’t seen that episode yet, then beware of spoilers.
> 
> Dean is devastated by another parent leaving him. His reaction to it is at first normal, he turns to anger and drinking.
> 
> But, then, he does something unexpected...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the second version, it contains the songs: Home by the Goo Goo Dolls and the second is Bed of Lies by Matchbox Twenty.

Silence. There was nothing but silence in the wake of the steel door closing. Sam stood frozen unable to think clearly. He watched as Dean turned away and strode over to the cabinet in which they kept the whiskey. He watched as he poured a glass and then brought it back to hand it to him.

Dean saluted Sam with the bottle. “To us, Sammy.” He drank deeply from the bottle before he whipped it across the room. He sank into a chair and just stared at the wall.

“Dean—”

“Don’t Sam, just don’t,” Dean said, his voice cracking with emotion.

Sam set the glass down in front of his brother and went to the kitchen to grab a couple beers. He came back into the room and saw Dean hadn’t even touched the whiskey. Sam could see tears in Dean’s eyes, though he was doing his best not to let them fall.

Without comment, Sam set a bottle down in front of him and sat in the chair next to him. He wanted to be there for him, but his own emotions were all over the place right now.

“I guess I expected too much,” Dean said. “I mean, why would she stick around? She hated being a hunter and she didn’t want this for us. To find out this is our life, that we live this life without question…” A single tear slipped and rolled down his cheek.

“Dean, I don’t think it has anything to do with that, with us being hunters,” Sam said.

“No, then tell me Sam, if not that, then what? Because I sure as shit ain’t buying her crap about ‘needing time’ to adjust away from us. How in the hell is she supposed to accept who we are now, if she isn’t here with us?”

“Dean, do you realize, technically, I am four years older than Mom?” Sam waited a minute for what he said to sink in. “She was twenty-nine when she died, I am thirty-three now. She died and we kept on living. Dad raised us to be the one thing she didn’t want us to be…hunters.”

“Sam, you’re not seeing it, she is just like him. She is just like Dad.” Dean shook his head and rubbed his fingers across his eyes. “I thought…I thought finally, finally we would actually have a parent, you know. Something good in our lives. Sammy, why can’t we just have one good thing in our lives?” A couple unshed tears rolled unchecked down his face.

Sam couldn’t answer. His brother’s pain broke him. Tears of his own began and he turned his face away. He heard the breaking glass and Dean’s curse. He closed his eyes and prayed for strength. He heard the scrap of chair legs as Dean stood and opened his eyes to look at his brother.

“Where—”

“Out,” Dean said as he walked away.

*****

 _Crowded rooms full of empty faces_  
_Our deepest conversation full of lies_  
_Another night with all my friends_  
_The kind you'll never see again_  
_I wonder if they'll see through my disguise_  
_And I want to say_  
_That I can't hold back_  
_And it might be wrong_  
_But it's all I have_  

“Hey, Donnie, how ‘bout another?” Dean held his empty glass to the bartender. He knew he couldn’t have many more if he wanted to be in any shape to drive back to the Bunker. He looked down at his phone as it rang again. Seeing it was Sam, he hit the ignore button. He knew Sam would be worried, but at the moment, he didn’t care. He didn’t want to talk about it, not with him, he just wanted to drink.

 _Come take me home tonight_  
_Come take me home_  
_Oh I need you now_  
_I'm lost without you_  
_A million miles but I will find you_  
_So take me home_  
  
_It's 3 A.M. and I can't sleep without you_  
_I think I've found the perfect words to say_  
_The shattered light transmits my voice_  
_Sometimes we don't have a choice_  
_I'd wake you up from half a world away_  
  
_And I tried so hard_  
_Tried to be so strong_  
_But you see the crash_  
_My defense is gone_    
 

‘But, I don’t want to be alone. Dammit, Cas, where are you?’ Dean thought. ‘Why are you never around when I need you most?’

“Last call, ladies and gents,” Donnie called to the bar. He walked over to Dean. “Another one?” he asked.

“Yeah, make it a double,” Dean said. ‘Cas, come on, man,’ he called silently.

_Come take me home_  
_The shattered light transmits my voice_  
_Sometimes we don't have a choice_  
_Come take me home_  
_Wake you up from half a world away_  
_Oh I need you now_  
_I'm lost without you_  
_I'm holding on till I can find you_  
_So take me home_

 

“Dean,” Cas said to him as he placed a hand on his shoulder, “what has happened?”

“It’s about damn time you showed up,” Dean said. “Where the hell have you been? Never mind, I don’t want to know.”

“No, you don’t care to know, there is a difference,” Cas said.

“Look, I’ve had just about enough crap for one night, okay. I don’t need yours too,” Dean said, his anger clear in his voice. He stood and downed the glass of whiskey Donnie had just placed in front of him. As he turned to walk away, he staggered slightly causing Cas to grab his arm. Dean shrugged him off. “I can walk on my own.”

“Yeah, it looks like it,” Cas said. He followed him outside. “Dean, I don’t think you should be driving in your condition.”

Dean stood and looked at Cas. He lowered his head and handed him the keys. “Fine, you drive.”

Shock showed on Cas’ face. He never expected Dean to hand him the keys. Now he knew there was something wrong, seriously wrong. He waited until they were in the car before broaching the subject again. “Dean, what’s going on?”

“She’s gone. Left. Just walked out,” Dean said.

“Wait, who’s gone? Mary? Why?”

“She spouted some crap about needing time to come to terms with us being grown and shit,” Dean said. “Yeah, I should’ve known better. I should’ve known I couldn’t have one good thing in my life.”

“Dean—”

“Don’t, Cas. Not tonight, I just…not tonight, okay. Just…just…hell.” Dean turned his face so he was looking out the window.

When they got back to the Bunker, Sam was waiting. Dean went straight to his room without saying a word to him.

“Cas?”

“Sam, he is in bad shape. What exactly happened here tonight?”

Cas listened as Sam explained everything Mary had said to them and Dean’s reaction. “I think he needs time to adjust, but I will try to talk to him,” Cas said. “Don’t worry, Sam. I’ll take care of him tonight.”

Cas went to Dean’s room and knocked softly on the door. Although no answer came from within, Cas opened the door. Silhouetted in the dim light, stood Dean in just his boxers. Cas was at a loss for words and turned to go.

“Stay,” Dean said. His voice was barely over a whisper. He turned to face Cas as the door clicked shut. “Lock it,” he added.

 _No I would not sleep in this bed of lies_  
_So toss me out and turn in_  
_And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes_  
_I'm marking it down to learning_  
_I am_  
  
_Don't think that I can take another empty moment_  
_Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile_  
_It's not enough just to be lonely_  
_Don't think that I could take another talk about it_  
  
_Just like me you got needs_  
_And they're only a whisper away_  
_And we softly surrender_  
_To these lives that we've tendered away_  
  

“Come over here,” Dean softly said. When Cas stood in front of him, he reached out and slid his coat off him. “You don’t need that in here,” he said as he tossed the coat onto a chair.

“Dean,” Cas began only to be cut off by Dean’s raised eyebrows.

“Yes, Cas?”

“Dean, I am here if you need to talk.”

“Cas, I’m not really in the mood to _talk_.” Dean said. “But it is your choice. Stay or go, just decide right now.”

At Cas’ confused look, Dean laughed. “There are some things the pizza man didn’t teach you, but I can.”

It took only a moment and a simple glance down for Cas to understand Dean. “Dean, you are hurting right now. I understand that,” Cas said.

“Oh, I’m hurting, all right.” Dean laughed at his joke as he glanced down. “Cas, come on, you know as well as I do, this has been building for a long time. You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, too.” Dean waited a moment before lifting his hands to Cas’ shirt and began unbuttoning it. “I’m tired, man. I…I don’t want to think, I don’t want to talk, I just want.”

Cas sighed. Dean was right, he had wanted this forever. He would never admit to it or have acted on it. Dean was his best friend and he would never do anything to risk that friendship. However, Dean needed him now. And he could never deny Dean anything.

_Don't wanna be the one who turns the whole thing over_  
_Don't wanna be somewhere where I just don't belong_  
_Where it's not enough just be sorry_

Cas reached up and ran his fingers down the side of Dean’s face. “I do not want to bring you more pain, Dean. I fear this will.”

“You won’t hurt me,” Dean said. “Don’t you see, Cas? It has always been you. You always come back to me, no matter what, somehow, some way, you are always there.” Dean slid Cas’ shirt off his shoulders and down his arms. He tossed it aside.  
  
_Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in_  
_Tried to be more than me_  
_And I gave_ till _it all went away_  
_And we've only surrendered_  
_To the worst part of these winters we've made_  
  
No _I would not sleep in this bed of lies_  
_So toss me out and turn in_  
_And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes_  
_I'm marking it down to learning_  
_I am_  


“Cas, I need you. Right or wrong, after everything, when things get bad, it is always you I turn to, you that I call.” Dean reached down and began to undo Cas’ pants. “Last chance.”

“It may be easier if I removed my shoes first,” Cas said logically as he sat on the bed.

Dean smiled. “Always the practical one.”

 


	3. The Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean watched his best friend walk into the reservoir in Bootbock, Kansas two weeks ago. Now, he has to face the fact that Castiel is gone forever. Now, laid up with a broken leg in an old cabin, he must deal with this loss.
> 
> His brother is seeing Lucifer and there are Leviathans on the loose. No one knows how to kill them, not even Bobby.
> 
> And he can’t tell Sam or Bobby why he is so upset…
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild profanity warning – tear-jerker warning
> 
> This is set during the time the boys were at Rufus’ cabin in S 7, episode 3, The Girl Next Door.
> 
> Song used: The Dance by Garth Brooks
> 
>  

Dean laid on the couch in the cabin and stared blankly at the ceiling. It was the middle of the night. He couldn’t sleep, his leg was throbbing worse than a toothache. Sam was sleeping and Bobby wasn’t back yet from his trip to gather his library from wherever he had it stashed. He hated when it was quiet. Quiet lead to too much thinking time. Something that was never a good thing. He tried to think of something, anything besides the one person who kept intruding on his thoughts, Cas.

His brother was still seeing Lucifer. Dean knew it was only a matter of time before there was fallout from that. Sam would snap, somehow, someway. Sam kept trying to hid it, but Dean knew. He could see Sam staring off into space and knew he was seeing Lucifer, listening to Lucifer telling him he was still in the cage.

They had a monster they didn’t know little about, the Leviathans. When Bobby called last, he had nothing knew to report on them other than they were multiplying.

Dean sighed and his mind slipped again, Cas…   

 

_Looking back on the memory of_  
_The dance we shared 'neath the stars above_  
_For a moment all the world was right_  
_How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye_

 

‘Cas, you stupid son-of-a-bitch,’ he thought. ‘Why?’ He knew there was no good answer for that question. He had accepted Cas thought he was doing everything he did for the right reasons, but those reasons…

Memories flooded through his mind. The first time he saw Cas walking through the door of the old warehouse, Cas smiling at some joke he had made even though he knew Cas didn’t understand it. He even had to smile at the memory of the _pizza man._

 

_And now I'm glad I didn't know_  
_The way it all would end the way it all would go_  
_Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain_  
_But I'd have had to miss the dance_

 

Dean’s breath caught painfully in his chest, his throat tightened. The memories of a late night discussion over the merits of porn came to Dean’s mind. He remembered what happened after their discussion. It hadn’t been the first time for them. No, the first time…

 

_Holding you I held everything_  
_For a moment wasn't I a king_  
_But if I'd only known how the king would fall_  
_Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all_

 

The first time, that was after Cas’ disastrous experience at a brothel. While trying to explain what he did wrong, one thing lead to another and Dean woke up in Cas’ arms the next morning. They managed to keep what was happening between them from Sam and Bobby, though at times, Dean felt as if he was leading a double life. He was so happy when he was with Cas. But, what they shared was theirs and theirs alone.

It didn’t matter how bad things got, Cas was always there. Time and time again, Cas was always there, except these last few months. That was probably why this was even more painful. Was there something he could have done? He should have done? Could he have changed it?

 

_And now I'm glad I didn't know_  
_The way it all would end the way it all would go_  
_Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain_  
_But I'd have had to miss the dance_

 

Would he have changed anything about his time with Cas? He honestly didn’t know. He only knew that as he lay here, he could admit finally to himself, at least, he loved Cas. Not only as a friend, but as much more. If he could just tell him.

“Why, Cas? Why?” he whispered into the darkness as tears rolled down his face. He half expected the angel to appear before him as he had always done when he called him, when he really needed him.

He closed his eyes and waited, hoping against hope when he opened them, his angel would be there. He slowly opened his eyes. The room was empty. He let the tears fall unbidden as he quietly said, “I’ll love you, always.”

 

_Yes my life is better left to chance  
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance_


	4. An Angel to Help Him Make it Through the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is still devastated by his mother’s abandonment. Sam grows worried after a week of Dean’s heavy drinking and unwilliness to talk. He does the only thing he can think of, he calls Cas for help.
> 
> Can the angel get through to Dean? Can he make him see not everyone leaves him?
> 
>  
> 
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song included in this fic is Help Me Make It Through the Night by Kris Kristofferson. I did change the first line to match the story.
> 
>  
> 
>  

Sam looked up from the chair where he sat in the library when he heard Dean come in. “Dean?”

“Who’d the hell else would it be?” Dean asked as he walked towards Sam. “Reading again? Haven’t you read everything here, yet?”

“Hardly,” Sam said. It was then he noticed the bruise on Dean’s face and the blood caked on his knuckles. “Dean, what the hell happened? Are you okay?”

“Hmm? I’m fine,” Dean said as he started to walk away.

“Dude, you look like you went a few rounds with someone,” Sam said as he stood setting the book aside. He moved to stand in front of Dean and looked him up and down. “There’s blood on your shirt and one hell of a bruise on your face, your knuckles are caked in blood. Now, something you want to share?”

“Not really,” he said as he moved around Sam and headed for the cabinet with the whiskey. After grabbing a bottle, he turned back but before he moved three steps, Sam grabbed his arm.

“Dean, what happened?”

“Look, some guys got ticked when I beat them at pool. I took care of it? Okay?”

“No, not okay. How many guys?”

“Sheez, Sam, you want a blow by blow? I don’t know, five, six, does it matter? I’m standing, their not. End of story. Now, if you don’t mind, I am going to my room for some peace and quiet. Unless you want to go a couple rounds…” Dean pulled away from Sam and stormed out of the room.

Sam sighed. He didn’t know what to do about Dean anymore. Ever since their mother left last week, Dean’s drinking had grown beyond measure. He wouldn’t talk to him. If Sam pressed too hard, Dean just left the Bunker and went to the bar.

There was only one thing he could think of, one person he could think of that may be able to get through to Dean. He pulled out his cell phone.

“Cas, I need your help,” he said when the phone was answered.

“Anything, Sam. But you do realize I am hunting Lucifer?” Cas said.

“Yeah, I know and believe me, if this wasn’t important, I wouldn’t have called,” Sam said.

“What is it?”

“It’s Dean. He is getting worse. Cas, I don’t know what to do with him. He is drinking constantly, he won’t talk to me. Cas, I need your help,” Sam said.

He heard a noise behind him and thought for a moment Dean had come into the room. He turned quickly to see Cas and Crowley standing there. He smiled and hung up the phone.

“Thank you, I will call you as soon as I can,” Cas said to Crowley.

Crowley bowed. “Crowley’s cab service, at your command,” he said in a mocking tone before disappearing.

“I do not think he appreciated my request to be brought here immediately,” Cas said as he stared at the spot where Crowley had just stood.

“No, I don’t think he did,” Sam said. “Cas, listen, Dean just got home from the bar. He was in another fight. This time with five or six guys. He isn’t in the best of moods and still looking for a fight.”

“Don’t worry, Sam. I will take care of Dean,” Cas said. He patted Sam’s shoulder as he walked by him. He stopped in the doorway and looked back at Sam. “Please do not be alarmed if you hear shouting. I would imagine if he is looking for a fight, he is going to take too kindly to my being here or to what I am going to say to him. It may be best if you put something loud on to mask the noise.”

Sam shook his head. He knew Cas was not one to lose his temper but he also knew he could. He had before when it came to Dean. There were three times he could think of off the top of his head. Once when he was being controlled by Naomi, once when Dean left them to give himself to Michael, and the last time was when Cas was under the spell Rowena cast on him.

Dean had not fared well in any of these cases. Although the second was the only time Cas wasn’t being influenced by someone else, it was also the scariest time because of that. Cas had a wicked temper when he was pushed. Something Dean tended to forget.

Cas knocked on Dean’s bedroom door. “Go away, Sam, unless you’ve changed your mind about that fight?” The door opened. “Oh, I see Sam called in the backup team. Well, come in,” Dean said and stepped back from the door. Once Cas was inside, he closed and locked the door. He took a swig from the whiskey bottle in his hand.

“Dean, we need to talk,” Cas said as he sat on the bed.

“Hmm, what if I don’t feel like talking?”

“Then I’ll talk,” Cas said.

“What if I don’t feel like listening?” Dean walked over and stood over Cas as he continued to drink the whiskey. Noticing the look Cas gave the bottle, he offered it to Cas. “Want some?”

“No, I don’t. I didn’t come here to drink with you. Your drinking is one of the things we need to talk about,” Cas said.

“Let me guess, Sammy ran to you with tales of how I am drinking too much, how I won’t talk to him, bitch, bitch, bitch, whine, whine, whine,” Dean said.

“Dean he is worried about you,” Cas said. “I am worried about you.”

“Oh, you are so worried about me this is the first you have been here since you left. You haven’t even called, radio silence, Cas. You left, she left. Listen, I’m fine, so you can just leave again.” Dean turned his back on Cas and raised the bottle to his lips.

Cas stood and jerked him around to face him and at the same time knocked the bottle from his hand. “You’ve had enough to drink and I think you have wallowed in self-pity long enough.”

“Cas, I’m warning you, back off,” Dean said as his fists clenched.

“No,” Cas said. “If it will make you feel better, then go ahead hit me. If it will make you feel better to rage at me, then do that. But I will not back off and I will not leave.” Cas stood his ground as he slipped his coat off.

“Cas, last chance,” Dean said.

“What is it you humans say? Oh, promises, promises.” Cas smiled.

Dean turned away and marched over to the wall and struck his fist into it. “Sometimes, I hate you,” he said.

“No, you don’t,” Cas said. “Monsters you hate, the things you hunt, you hate, but me…no, I do not believe it is hate you feel for me.”

Dean turned and looked at Cas. “I didn’t mean that,” he said.

 “I know you didn’t,” Cas said.

“I need another drink,” Dean said as he turned towards the door.

Cas moved quickly to stand in front of the door. “No, you don’t. You’ve had quite enough for one evening. I believe you have had enough for the entire month.”

“You are not my father or my mother, so get the hell out of my way. If I want to drink, I’ll drink. Nothing you or Sammy can say will change that. So move!”

“Make me, but be warned, Dean, I intend to stop you from leaving this room and as you may remember, I don’t fight fair,” Cas said.

“Good, neither do I,” Dean said.

Dean landed the first punch, Cas the second. After that, the punches were pretty much even for the first few minutes. Cas had the advantage however as Dean had been drinking quite heavily since early that afternoon, his fighting skills were impaired. Cas landed a particularly hard punch to Dean’s midsection that had him falling backwards. Dean grabbed at Cas to steady himself and they both found themselves on the bed breathing hard.

 “Okay, okay, truce?” Dean asked.

“No more drinking,” Cas said.

“You never give up, do you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Fine, I won’t drink anymore tonight,” Dean said. “That good enough?”

“It is a start,” Cas said.

Dean moved slightly and groaned. “Dammit, Cas, I think you broke a rib.”

Cas sighed. “You had it coming,” he said but he sat up and placed two fingers on Dean’s forehead. All traces of the night’s two fights disappeared.

“Thanks,” Dean said. “You probably shouldn’t have done that, though. Don’t you think I deserve to feel the pain from the fights to learn my lesson or some such crap?”

“Yes, you do. But, I…” Cas looked away from Dean. “Dean, Sam is worried about you and so am I.”

“Come on, so I’ve been drinking a bit more than normal, so what. And honestly, you and Sammy both know I am not one to _talk_ anything out. I’ll be fine.” He saw the look Cas gave him. “Look if it makes you feel better, I’ll cut my drinking down, okay?”

“It is a start,” the angel agreed. “I should go and let you get some rest.”

“You don’t have to go,” Dean said. “We could, I don’t know watch some tv or something. I got one for in here. I was just thinking instead of us always having to go to Sam’s room to watch it.”

“If you want me to stay, I will,” Cas said.

“Yeah, I want you to stay,” Dean said. He turned the tv on and the light out. He began to undress.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas asked as Dean removed his shirt.

“Getting ready for bed.”

“I better go,” Cas said clearly uncomfortable.

“Stay,” Dean said and grabbed Cas by the arm. “I want you to stay, all night, with me.”

“To watch tv,” Cas said.

 

_Take the shirt_ from _your shoulders,_  
 _Shake it loose and let it fall,_  
 _Layin' soft upon my skin._  
 _Like the shadows on the wall._  
  
  


“No,” Dean said as he reached out and began undoing the buttons of Cas’ shirt. “If you don’t want this, stop me now.”

When Cas didn’t object, Dean leaned down and tentatively touched his lips to Cas’. The kiss was gentle at first but grew in intensity quickly. Soon they were both gasping for air.

Dean pulled away first and looked at Cas. “Interesting.” He smiled and pulled Cas onto the bed.

_Come and lay down by my side_   
_'till the early morning light_   
_All I'm takin' is your time._   
_Help me make it through the night._

 

Dean again began kissing Cas as he laid on top of him. He fisted one hand in Cas’ hair and the other roamed down his chest stopping when he encountered the top of his pants. He undid the button on the pants and pulled his head back to look at Cas questioningly.

“Stop me now, or I’m not stopping,” Dean said.

“Dean, are you sure about this?”

Dean laughed softly and took one of Cas’s hands and placed it on the front of his pants. “You tell me if I am sure.”

“But this…this is…”

_I don't care what's right or wrong,_  
 _I don't try to understand._  
 _Let the devil take tomorrow._  
 _Lord, tonight I need a friend._  
  


“Cas, this is sex, sex isn’t wrong. Not when…shit,” Dean said. He ran a hand through his hair. He shook his head. He should have realized his angel would not understand things between them could be this good. Dean never gave him any encouragement. Cas knew he loved his women, why would he ever think Dean would see him as something more? Cas’ had very little experience. Dean knew he would need to take his time.

_Yesterday is dead and gone_  
 _And tomorrow's out of sight._  
 _And it's sad to be alone._  
 _Help me make it through the night._  
  


He smiled and bent his head. He wasn’t going to rush this. He wanted to get it right. “Cas, I don’t want to be alone tonight. I need you, I always need you.”

“I’m here, Dean. For you, always.” Cas reached down and undid the button on Dean’s jeans with some difficulty. “Perhaps, it would be easier if we were to get rid of the rest of our clothes?”

_I don't care what's right or wrong,_  
 _I don't try to understand._  
 _Let the devil take tomorrow._  
 _Lord, tonight I need a friend._  
  
_Yesterday is dead and gone_  
 _And tomorrow's out of sight._  
 _Lord, it's bad to be alone._  
 _Help me make it through the night._

 

When they had removed the rest of their clothes, they laid side by side on the bed. In the light of the tv, Dean looked at Cas and smiled. He turned onto his side and propped himself up on one arm and leaned down. With his free hand, he cupped Cas’ face. “I am going to make you forget your name, forget everything but me,” Dean said gruffly. He leaned down and proceeded to make good on his promise.


End file.
